I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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