Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
