Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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