is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
