You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize