sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
