thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
