Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
