i just had sex bonerless
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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