there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
