We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
