my mouth tastes like poor choices
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So vagazzling was a success
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