Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
