i just made my gag reflex go away.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
