I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize