wrigley field is MILF paradise
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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