The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
