I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
