Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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