I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
