Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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