after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
