We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
