I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Your tits are I can't wait for
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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