you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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