I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize