I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
