I CAN MOONWALK!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
