Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
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I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
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At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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