so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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