let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
