Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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