Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
