do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
