turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
