On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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