Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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