Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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