New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize