Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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