Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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