Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Soap is not a condiment
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
