oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
