I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
