I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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