Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
