think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
