i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
