I'm drive I can fine osifer
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
