Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
