He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
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There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
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