i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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