I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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