his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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